Alone

Last nite after watching 'Grown Ups' and having a drink with Rainbow and others. When i reach home and cleaning myself and just head to my bed to sleep but, i cant sleep at all, i thot after drinking a bottle or 2 of beer should make me sleep better, but, it wont work as i stay up all nite long. I couldn't sleep at all as i try to search my feelings what was wrong that makes me cant sleep this few days, by the way, i didn't sleep well for 3 nites and just take a nap for 3-4 hours in 3 days only. And i finally know, its the word "Alone". Im thinking by myself should i look for my partner of my life? Or just stay single as i wanted too as there is no bounderies for me to do anythings or go anyplace that i like?

If i can find the person of my life, im afraid that i would disapoint her again or seriously tortured her or myself (im kinda soft hearted person...hehe). If not, i would be in this situation again, imsonia everynite.

Anyway, i don care what would happen to me in my future. What i only care is now, to live life to the max, with great passion and adventure. I would let fate decide whether the word "Alone" stay with me forever or just a temporarily.

Hope will be better in any results....Gosh...wish i could sleep well for the rest of the nites....